Enjoy Thai Culture
There are a few cultural norms important to respect. While the islands cater more to tourists and you’ll see all sorts of bad behavior, don’t be that guy! Acknowledging basic cultural traditions endears you and the rest of Americans to the Thai people and shows respect. Get on board.
#1. The King.
Thais take The Royal Family very seriously and disrespect is a jailable offense. Do not speak badly about the King or the Royal Family, even in jest. Do not disrespect his image, which includes your money. His face is on every bill and coin so for instance, if you drop a coin and it rolls away, don’t step on it! That’s considered incredibly rude and actually illegal. Straighten out your paper money when paying for something as the King’s face is also on every bill. You may hear the Thai national anthem at 8am and 6pm. If you do, notice the Thai people generally stop what they’re doing, stand still with hands at their sides, and listen. Don’t interrupt a Thai person during the anthem. If everyone around you has stopped, do the same. If people carry on, carry on! Read more about lèse majesté laws here.
#2. Body parts and gestures.
The feet are considered the lowest, dirtiest part of the body, and after walking around in your sandals, you’ll see why. Remove your shoes before entering
any building, even your hotel room (another reason to skip the multi-buckle gladiator sandals). They won’t get stolen. Don’t touch your feet in public and don’t point your feet at people, keep them on the ground. If you cross your legs and prop a foot up on your knee, the sole of your foot is pointed at someone. Gross, rude. Don’t put your feet up on an empty chair in a restaurant. Gross, rude. Go for the duchess cross at the ankles instead or when sitting on the floor, which will happen a lot, sit side saddle or mermaid-style with both feet pointing behind you. Be mindful of where your dirty soles are pointing – make sure it’s not at the Thai person serving you. Also don’t step over things on the ground, walk around. You’ll notice the Thai shuffle, they just kind of scoot around everything. And you’ll also see a lot of socks in sandals. Of course you can put your feet up on a pool or beach lounger, if you find one. Chances are you’ll be in a sling back chair anyway! Feet are for floors.
Hands are typically not the cleanest thing either. Thais aren’t really into shaking hands or using their hands to eat. Even street food comes on a stick so you don’t have to touch the food with your hands. If you get fresh cut fruit from a street vendor, they’ll hand you a plastic bag with a skewer. You’re expected to use the skewer to get the food into your mouth, not your hands. Thais also don’t put forks in their mouths. You’ll see a spoon and a fork at meals, the fork is to scoop things into the spoon which goes in your mouth. The fork is then clean to get things from communal plates. Likewise, noodle soups will have chopsticks and spoons, the chopsticks to get noodles onto the spoon into your mouth. Don’t worry about eating like this yourself unless you’re sharing a meal with Thai people. They also have standards about which hand to use to pass or receive things, either with both hands or the right hand.
Conversely, the head is the highest and most venerated part of the body. Don’t touch a Thai person’s head, even kids. Don’t put your hat on the ground as that’s where feet go.
Pointing with one finger is also impolite. When picking out something on the menu, use a couple fingers or your whole hand, Vanna White style. The most confusing gesture to me when I arrived in Thailand was the motion for “come here,” also used to hail a ride. In America, we gesture with our palms up, bringing the person into us. In Thailand, the palm is down and it looks more like a “go away, shoo!,” gesture. Your tour guide may try to wrangle the group by gesturing like this and saying, “Man-ee! Man-ee!” Come here, come here! If you want a bus, songtaew, or tuk-tuk to stop for you, you’ll have to master the little sweeping motion. Bend at the wrist, fingers pointing to the ground, and sweep in towards your body, most of the motion is at the wrist, like dusting crumbs off a table. More on gestures here.
The most common gesture you’ll see when taking photos is what looks like the peace sign to us (your index and middle finger form a V). It’s an export from the Japanese Kawaii culture, which is based on superficial cuteness, using the V sign to make girls’ faces look smaller and cuter. I don’t know how that works exactly, but it’s prevalent in Thailand. In fact, they have an arsenal of hand gestures you can put by your face to mean different things. I had some high school girls give me the breakdown in their yearbook. Most amount to some form of “cute” or “smart,” with a few outliers that are closer to the middle finger. To master this habitual gesture, make a peace sign and hold it near your chin when taking photos. You just nailed a super cute Thai selfie, nah rock (so cute!).
#3. Wat and wai.
The wai (pronounced like why) is the standard Thai greeting, where hands are placed together in prayer position and the head bows. The depth of the bow and the height of the hands vary with the status of the person you are greeting – the higher the hands on the face, the higher the person’s status being greeted. A lot of nuances. As a tourist, you don’t wai service people though they may wai you. However, you should wai a monk or older Thai person if you come in contact with them. Your hands must be empty for a wai, not with your cell phone in between! Status is a very important in Thai culture. Kids must wai everyone older than them especially teachers, everyone must wai monks, and even monks will wai the King. The other context of status is physical levels. For instance, notice at a Thai shop or restaurant. They will have a photo of Buddha very high up on the wall, a little lower the King, and lower still their family.
Schoolkids wai to teachers every morning
When visiting a wat (Buddhist temple), everyone male and female must be dressed modestly. No tank tops, no short-shorts. At least a tee shirt covering your shoulder and cleavage and long pants or a sarong over your shorts. Shoes will be removed before entering. If you come across a monk, now is the time for a heart-felt wai, even go so far as to bow to the floor if you feel so moved. If a monk is sitting in a room, usually on a pedestal, above the masses, crawl in and keep your head below their head level. Watch where your feet are pointed, too. And no touching!! If a monk offers you something (they’ve been known to share their bananas!), hold out your right hand supported by your left and wait for them to deliver the goods. If you want to give them alms, place it in front of them and wai, don’t try to hand it directly to them.
Be respectful of the people who are there to pray but don’t be afraid to use your camera (sans flash) and participate. There are a lot of really cool ways to make merit at temples. There is a Buddha for each day of the week (two on Wednesdays) that correlate to your birth day. You’ll see a row of Buddha statues, starting at Sunday on the left, then Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday morning, then Wednesday night, etc. You can bless the Buddha of your birth day by lighting a candle in front of it or pouring water over it three times. You can also shake the cup of sticks for a fortune, I love this one! Crawl in on your knees in front of a statue and pray. Pick up the cup and shake at slight angle until just one pops out, this may take awhile! Then there will be a board with fortunes corresponding to the number, and not always in English. You can sometimes purchase a prayer bell, write you intention, and hang it somewhere in the wat (with the other ones, don’t be dumb!). You can also add gold leaf to a statue. Place the gold leaf on the area of the body that needs extra attention.
Just remember, it’s not free. Make sure to deposit at least a 10 baht coin but preferably a 20 baht bill or more, into the donation area nearby (usually a slot in a box or something). If you have a group, I highly recommend a guided wat tour to get all the cool information on the history and traditions. There are so many wonderful little secrets!
Thais take religious holidays seriously and you won’t be able to purchase alcohol anywhere!
#4. Modesty and Saving Face.
Thais are very modest in dress, public affection, and temperament in general. You’ll rarely see a Thai person shouting or raising their voice (unless a drunk fight is about to break out so walk the other way!). There are a thousand Thai smiles and several mean they are unhappy. It’s hard to tell. If you make a bargain with a vendor and then don’t purchase on the agreed upon bargain, they’ll still be smiling but they are pissed.
Smiling will get you a lot further than shouting or using an angry tone. Thais worry about “losing face” more than anything. They don’t want to be embarrassed especially publicly. If you ask a questions and they don’t know the answer, you won’t hear the Western phrase, “I don’t know, let me find out.” Thais would rather lie to you than look like a fool for not knowing. This may seem ridiculous, but it’s extremely important to the culture. If you are in a disagreement with a Thai, know that staying calm and making a compromise allows the other person to save face. Don’t drive too hard a bargain with shopkeepers so they can save face.
In the beach areas, it’s common to see all sorts of undress in the tourists, but you’ll notice none of the locals dressed in shorts and tank tops (ok, sometimes at the Universities and definitely on Walking Street). Cover up when you’re not on the beach. Shorts are fine, but I found longer shorts to be more comfortable anyway (especially when sitting on tiny plastic chairs in the middle of the day! Mmmm, leg sweat!). I also found that a light long sleeve over shirt was more comfortable because it protected me from the sun and bugs. I had a light cotton chambray button up that went far! You will see physical affection between people of the same gender, but rarely PDA between couples. Thais girls will hold hands with their friends, boys will hug and hang on each other, but you won’t see a boy and girl holding hands, hugging, or smooching in public. You will make Thais very uncomfortable if you are physical in public.
But a surprising twist on the general modesty is the love of selfies. Thais love selfies, Instagram, Facebook, all of it. They will gladly take a picture with you, so long as they get one, too. Photos are a status symbol to them. Posting a picture of a beautiful dessert or coffee drink means you can afford to get to that exclusive coffee shop and shell out the high price. Taking pictures with smiling Americans is also a status symbol. You’ll also find taking photos as a way to connect with students who want to practice their English. Americans are actually less present than European and Australian tourists due to the distance. But everyone learns American English and it’s the common language with say, Chinese tourists. When hiking at an obscure waterfall in a national park, I met a Thai girl who was also a teacher and wanted to say hi, practice her English, and take a selfie with me. Get used to celebrity status, it’s kind of cool!
#5. Sex Tourism.
Unfortunately, Thailand is also known for it’s rampant prostitution. Although illegal, brothels and prostitutes operate rather openly. It’s hard to visit any tourist hub and not see this side of Thailand. Walking Streets are essentially red light districts with various forms of sexual entertainment. If you’re looking for budget accomodations, you may end up near a Walking Street. Many bar areas are adjacent to Walking Streets, as well. If you stumble on a Walking Street, you’ll know. Scantily clad women will be hanging around storefronts. Often each store will have a different theme of dress, like sailor suits or everyone in pink. Bar girls are another common indication of the sex tourism trade. Bar girls make money by getting men to buy them “lady drinks,” wildly more expensive than what you’re drinking, regardless of its contents.
Men of all ages can face an interesting reverse sexism in Thailand. They will be hollered at on the streets, mobbed by bar girls, and generally hassled by females in the sex trade. These women could be prostitutes looking for income, or Thai women looking for a husband. The women usually come from poor areas and are supporting themselves and their families with this income. A lot of men do come to Thailand looking for, and finding, a Thai wife. These women often have a better grasp of English than most, though limited to basic conversation.
I once ended up on Walking Street at night after the Lantern Festival, when I couldn’t find a ride home. I was walking to a different area where I hoped I could catch a ride outside of the clogged masses. I really had to use the bathroom. I stopped at one of the Walking Street storefronts and picked out which woman was in charge. I wai-ed to her, and asked her sweetly to use the bathroom, “Haung naam, na ka.” She shuffled me in to the bathroom and I thanked her on my way out.
#6. Thai Animals.
Buddhists believe that spaying/neutering an animal stops the natural life cycle and thus, they don’t usually practice animal sterilization. You will see stray dogs and cats everywhere in Thailand. The stray dogs have a unique look based on who the dominant breeder is in their neighborhood. For example, in the Huay Kaew neighborhood in Chiang Mai, the dogs were primarily black and white collies. In Nakhonsawan, they were red shepherds. In tourist towns, the dog population is often controlled by foreigner-run non-profits. Most animals are taken care of by Thai people. You’ll see “strays” with collars that are well-fed, well-groomed, and friendly – basically living the animal dream of complete freedom. The Doggy Monster bar in Chiang Mai has a group of dogs it takes care of, even when one got a hit by a scooter. Other times, you’ll see dogs covered in mange. Animals often congregate at the wats for food shared by the monks and schools where the kids take care of them.
The prevalence in smaller thai towns vary. In the town where I taught, the Thai people openly acknowledged that their stray dogs were incredibly aggressive – “not scared of Thai men, scared of Thai dogs, huh?” Yeah, I was. At night, the dogs took over the town. They would follow you and nip at your legs if you had food. I got chased by dogs on a scooter before, too. This is where your umbrella may come in handy as a weapon. I’m not one to hit animals, but this was an exception.
For Westerns who love their pets, this can be very hard to see. You can donate to one of the non-profits in the area you visit or, if you are flying out of Bangkok, you may be able to help as a flight volunteer, taking an animal back to Canada, USA, or Europe to a new adopted home.
Animal tourism has historically played a huge part in Thai tourism. The more modern and ethical version are animal sanctuaries, where you go to feed and play with elephants instead of riding them (which is very painful for them). While petting a tiger may seem like a dream, the animals are often taken from the wild at a young age and kept drugged in order to be safe for tourists. Visiting a sanctuary is a great way to interact with the animals while maintaining ethical standards of treatment.
#7. Thai toilets.
This is less about the culture but a very important different to point. Thai toilets and plumbing are NOT what we are used to in the west. It could be a hole in the ground. It could be a squatty potty. Most likely, it will look like a normal toilet but have a sprayer and bucket of water nearby. There will not be toilet paper. I repeat, BYOTP! The sprayer, aka the bum gun, is used to rinse your backside before drying with toilet paper, not wiping like we do. Then you throw the toilet paper in the trash can, do not try to flush it!! You’ll try the handle to flush and nothing will happen – scoop water from the bucket into the toilet until gravity takes over and the contents are clear again. This also means that everytime you walk into a toilet, the floor is wet, the seat is wet, everything is wet (hence, no TP). Thai bathrooms don’t separate shower from toilet often so don’t leave anything on the floor you don’t want to get wet. Your shower may not have a curtain or glass doors, it’s all open. The pocket packs of tissue are great, and you can refill them with tp from your hotel. I found that 5-7 squares of Tp is good per potty use. 2 to dry the seat, 3-5 to wipe depending. The bum gun, though weird and maybe even gross at first and hard to get the right angle at first, is incredibly refreshing. Use it, love it. I like the square Kleenex packs the best, they’re much easier to refill with tp from the room and then you don’t need to bring a dozen of them!
You’ll also notice there is rarely hand soap in bathrooms and rarely paper towels or hand dryers. Hand sanitizer is all fine and well, but scrubbing your hands under running water for 30 seconds is just as effective as soap and will get a layer of grime off. Use your hanky to dry your hands then use hand sanitizer. Use that hand sanitizer before eating, too. Wash your hanky each night back at the hotel.